"Talk To Em"
Like the person needs his soul “uh huh, jeah”
Fight the will “ay” to need his own “ay, ay, ay”
“Just talk to em for a minute, ay just talk to em for a minute”
Like the baby “ay” needs to cry “uh huh jeah”
if you go “ay" I swear “jeah” ill die “ay, ay, ay”
How the fuck im free out here and you locked in there
Your whole family acts like I ont care
They don’t know about the nights I just lay in my bed
I cant even sleep I just lay in my bed
Eyes full of tears and a heart full of pain
Take deep breathes everytime I hear your name
You was more than family you was like my brother
So when the shit went down its like I lost my brother “ay”
And I wish we could trade places
Swear to GOD dawg wish we could trade places
Livin a life of crime, but it wasn’t your life it was more like mine
I often think about the close calls we had
And I often think about the close brawls we had
And I love my nigga what you know bout that
And ill do anything to get golmouf back talk to em
Like the person needs his soul
Fight the will to need his own
“Make em understand, ay, please, make em understand“
Like the baby “please, look, ay”
needs to cry “make em understand, ay, ay, ay”
if you go I swear ill die
“make em understand, jeah, ay, talk to em ay, ay, ay”
Mel man you my heart I swear to god “swear to god”
Knew you was real man I saw it from the start “from the start”
Even when I was wrong my nigga had my back “yeah”
Even when I was right my nigga had my back “damn right”
We used to laugh wouldn’t shit funny “naw”
Late night at my grandma house counting money
I trust you with my life dawg if I was married id trust you with my wife dawg
Any given time a half a mill in your possession
You aint called in two days man I still wasn’t stressing “naw:
Cause when I talk my nigga listen “listened”
Switch shit you used to help me with them pigeons
“Earnest” Earnest T. wont talk to me dawg and it hurts “it hurts”
She treats a nigga like im the scum of the life “scum of the earth”
In your eyes I couldn’t do no wrong “naw” so to you I dedicate this song “talk to em”
Like the person “ay” needs his soul “ay”
Fight the will “talk to em for me my nigga” to need his own
“gotta feel me on this one, jeah, ay, talk to em in tongues nigga,
do it make these niggas understand”
Like the baby “ay” needs to “I love you Mat Lou”
cry “uh huh, talk to em”
if you go “I ont think they understand me my nigga”
I swear ill die “jeah, talk to em, ay, ay, ay”
Must’ve bust ten rounds through the strap in your lap
Knew I was a gangsta I wasn’t going for that
Pussy nigga in my yard talkin shit
Know’in damn well I was on some G shit
Let the whole clip ride and didn’t think
Let the whole clip ride and didn’t blink
You told me kindly not to bring the white in your house
And then what I do bring the white in the house
Bricks in the addict and yean know
Your grandson killin em he getting 24
Feds at the door im out of town
Yean tell em shit, you held me down
Now a-days I rock the mic im getting paid for that
And all the shit I been through im getting paid for that
Always said I would make, wish you could see me now
But if I tried to tell her she probably wouldn’t believe me now
LOVE YOU MAT LOU!
WEBBIE LYRICS - Retarded
"Retarded"
[Verse 1]
I'm stackin, rappin but if I just so happen was it, I probably would be posted up thugin, sellin crack are somethin
I had 2 leave it alone cause the rats r something
Look like my return won't be long
The streets keep asking 4 me
Young savage on the mound game ova now
I'm in Houston and A Town wheres the muthafuckin crown
I don't have no fuckin friends
I'm solo now
Put my trust and my mack 10 bitch don't let me down
Coloaborate
Just fuck wit them that's makin me sick
Spoil bitches don't want share
So I'm taking dis shit
I'm a 110 street cat and had my back against tha hope
No money, no love, just tears, weed, blood, and hoes
I'm like slim these niggas don't feel my pain
A ninty-nine problems and but a bitch ain't one
Ghetto stories, and gangsta music, thank big labels ain't come
Shit we just trying see which one
[Chorus:]
I'm so retarded
And I'm gon all hard and
My game muthafuckin bitch brains up
And I just getting started
They hate 2 see a nigga ballin
They rather see a nigga in a coffin
But rap money, street money I'm gon see money
Bitch nigga ragardless
[Verse 2]
If the shit ain't funny den I can't grin And if it don't make money it don't make sense If you really
ain't bout nothing You better zip your lips cause around here stuntin nigga emp yo clip
My grand so ridickuless You can call me da clips
Cause I slap all my bitches u can call me a pimp I'm like the hood candy lady
I got them chips
I got hoes wit J. Lo faces and Beyonce hips
2 home boys doin 7 can't wait till da touch
So many people up in heaven dat I miss so much
vest up up wit my chest and stomach not becuz I'm scared
But no they coming i hope they don't shoot 4 my head
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
18 riding lacks nigga
How you hate dat?
Do it big bad bitch give me dat shake back nigga
Yall ain't got do shit
Just leave it 2 me Push record 4 yo boyand lay back and kick up yo beat
turn up da beat
A pen paper give me one sheet Put a barcode on it
Disrebute dis heat
I got tha biggest fuckin bug buzzin in dis streets
I know you heard a young savage Trill E-N-T
But you forgot bout me
Thought i was gone where i'm gone go
I run dis mutha fucker
I'm the spice in da gumbo
I'm bout my fuckin paper man dats all I fuckin want more
U gone gets wats mine
Oh no, u a dumb hoe
Still good, still can get u rite on da down low
It never snow in Baton Rouge
I'm da nigga wit da snow
2 let yall niggas do yall thang so I hope yall been gettin it
Wat up playa
I'm da new mayor of da city nigga
[Chorus]
[Verse 1]
I'm stackin, rappin but if I just so happen was it, I probably would be posted up thugin, sellin crack are somethin
I had 2 leave it alone cause the rats r something
Look like my return won't be long
The streets keep asking 4 me
Young savage on the mound game ova now
I'm in Houston and A Town wheres the muthafuckin crown
I don't have no fuckin friends
I'm solo now
Put my trust and my mack 10 bitch don't let me down
Coloaborate
Just fuck wit them that's makin me sick
Spoil bitches don't want share
So I'm taking dis shit
I'm a 110 street cat and had my back against tha hope
No money, no love, just tears, weed, blood, and hoes
I'm like slim these niggas don't feel my pain
A ninty-nine problems and but a bitch ain't one
Ghetto stories, and gangsta music, thank big labels ain't come
Shit we just trying see which one
[Chorus:]
I'm so retarded
And I'm gon all hard and
My game muthafuckin bitch brains up
And I just getting started
They hate 2 see a nigga ballin
They rather see a nigga in a coffin
But rap money, street money I'm gon see money
Bitch nigga ragardless
[Verse 2]
If the shit ain't funny den I can't grin And if it don't make money it don't make sense If you really
ain't bout nothing You better zip your lips cause around here stuntin nigga emp yo clip
My grand so ridickuless You can call me da clips
Cause I slap all my bitches u can call me a pimp I'm like the hood candy lady
I got them chips
I got hoes wit J. Lo faces and Beyonce hips
2 home boys doin 7 can't wait till da touch
So many people up in heaven dat I miss so much
vest up up wit my chest and stomach not becuz I'm scared
But no they coming i hope they don't shoot 4 my head
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
18 riding lacks nigga
How you hate dat?
Do it big bad bitch give me dat shake back nigga
Yall ain't got do shit
Just leave it 2 me Push record 4 yo boyand lay back and kick up yo beat
turn up da beat
A pen paper give me one sheet Put a barcode on it
Disrebute dis heat
I got tha biggest fuckin bug buzzin in dis streets
I know you heard a young savage Trill E-N-T
But you forgot bout me
Thought i was gone where i'm gone go
I run dis mutha fucker
I'm the spice in da gumbo
I'm bout my fuckin paper man dats all I fuckin want more
U gone gets wats mine
Oh no, u a dumb hoe
Still good, still can get u rite on da down low
It never snow in Baton Rouge
I'm da nigga wit da snow
2 let yall niggas do yall thang so I hope yall been gettin it
Wat up playa
I'm da new mayor of da city nigga
[Chorus]
JULIE ROBERTS LYRICS - Pot Of Gold
"Pot Of Gold"
All alone in a café
I watch the world rushin' by
They're all dreamin' 'bout dollars and thinkin' 'bout
Mountains that they have to climb
A woman checks her reflection
A man straightens his tie
They wear troubled expressions and meanwhile
I just sit here and smile
You can chase all the sliver
If you need riches to hold
You can run after rainbows
'Cause I just found my pot of gold
I just met him last weekend
We've been out a few times
And it may seem too soon, but when he kissed me I knew that
He was my purpose in life
You can chase all the silver
'Cause I've found somethin' to hold
You can run after rainbows
'Cause I just found my pot of gold
You can chase all the silver
'Cause I've just found my soul
You can run after rainbows
'Cause I just found my pot
I just found my pot
I just found my pot of gold
All alone in a café
I watch the world rushin' by
They're all dreamin' 'bout dollars and meanwhile
I just sit here and smile
All alone in a café
I watch the world rushin' by
They're all dreamin' 'bout dollars and thinkin' 'bout
Mountains that they have to climb
A woman checks her reflection
A man straightens his tie
They wear troubled expressions and meanwhile
I just sit here and smile
You can chase all the sliver
If you need riches to hold
You can run after rainbows
'Cause I just found my pot of gold
I just met him last weekend
We've been out a few times
And it may seem too soon, but when he kissed me I knew that
He was my purpose in life
You can chase all the silver
'Cause I've found somethin' to hold
You can run after rainbows
'Cause I just found my pot of gold
You can chase all the silver
'Cause I've just found my soul
You can run after rainbows
'Cause I just found my pot
I just found my pot
I just found my pot of gold
All alone in a café
I watch the world rushin' by
They're all dreamin' 'bout dollars and meanwhile
I just sit here and smile
FOO FIGHTERS LYRICS - Free Me
"Free Me"
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me, yeah!
Beautiful prisoner, left here for dead
Promises made and sentences read
Voices and visions are locked in my head
I could sing for sorrow
All of the words that we damn never speak
All of our ghosts and secrets do keep
Gather them all we'll bury them deep
I could sing for sorrow
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me, hey!
One for forever
One in your name
Once in your member
We're one in the same
One to forget but it always remains
I could sing for sorrow
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Could you free what's keepin' you?
Well I need somebody too
Free me! Free me!
Free me! Free me!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Could you free what's keepin' you?
Well I need somebody too
Free me! Free me!
Free me! Free me!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, yeah!
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me, yeah!
Beautiful prisoner, left here for dead
Promises made and sentences read
Voices and visions are locked in my head
I could sing for sorrow
All of the words that we damn never speak
All of our ghosts and secrets do keep
Gather them all we'll bury them deep
I could sing for sorrow
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me, hey!
One for forever
One in your name
Once in your member
We're one in the same
One to forget but it always remains
I could sing for sorrow
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Could you free what's keepin' you?
Well I need somebody too
Free me! Free me!
Free me! Free me!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Free me right now
You take me away, take it from me
Could you free what's keepin' you?
Well I need somebody too
Free me! Free me!
Free me! Free me!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, yeah!
ATMOSPHERE LYRICS - You Played Yourself
"You Played Yourself"
[Verse 1]
What's up? My name is Sean, nice to meet ya
So what brings you backstage in this theatre?
Oh you're in the crew that plays first
I shoulda noticed all four of y'all of wore the same shirts
I bet you got a demo of your work right
{That's what's up} Can you leave it with my merch guy?
Well word up, good luck tonight
And don't forget to drink water, and don't cup that mic, huh
Do me a favour and stay away from Ant's beer
No you can't bring your fans back here
Nah I'm straight, you can keep your drugs in fact
Keep em in the alley out back behind the club
And drop the attitude
Why you acting like that little sticky pass is some kinda right of passage dude
Keep rapping till you get discovered
But better believe it's last time we ever see each other
[Hook (Every second line spoken)]
Cause you played yourself
Uh yeah, of course I remember you man, uh, how you been man? How you doin man?
You played yourself
They told me that you tried to pick a fight with your own DJ
You played yourself
Nah I didn't see you're set man, I was, I was sleeping on the bus
You played yourself
Uh yeah, go talk to that guy, him, he'll give you some drink tickets, word
[Verse 2]
New York, at the Bowery getting down
With Grayskul, P. O.S. and Fillmore Brown
My first time touring with a live band
Trynna hide all the fear behind the mic stand
I just want to move around and keep it versatile
But tonight some kid took it personal
I stopped my set, yo what you yellin bout?
With your middle up calling me sell out
Then security rushed him like a gang fight
Wait, don't kick him out, man it ain't right
But they wasn't listening to Slug
I'm just an artist on the stage, they don't really give a fuck
So I finished up my set then
Ran out the front door to see if I could catch him
And there he was, mad and drunk
So I gave him his money and sent him off with a hug
[Hook (Every second line spoken)]
Man you played yourself
Man you can barely stand up, you trynna call me names, punk
You played yourself
I understand, I understand dude, I was just like you when I was 15 years old
You played yourself
Talking about, you ain't The Roots, you ain't The Roots, why you got a band man?
You played yourself
Do me a favour, throw away my CDs, I don't want you stupid fans
[Verse 3]
Girl please, don't treat me like you treat a toy
You wouldn't look twice if I was the pizza boy (nope)
You ain't got to flash me your ass and tits
I'd rather fantasise that you're a rap advocate
Look around, you see all these women?
They came for the music, you came for the scenesterism
The validating game is degrading
Got me cornered at the bar to boost your ratings
I'm getting too old for the trap
Go wiggle that cleavage at the opening act, huh
Plus you smell like a bucket of vodka
I would never put my meat sauce up in that pasta
The shows over, so why you waiting by the bus
Like I'm supposed to be impressed with the basics
You don't believe that I don't want to see you naked
But I'm not hanging out, take care and stay safe kid
[Hook (Every second line spoken)]
You played yourself
Yeah actually I have heard somebody say that to me before
You played yourself
You realise I can clearly see your clitoris through your jeans
You played yourself
Look you are closer to my son's age than, than you are to mine
You played yourself
Look, look, the li, the living legends are right there, right over there, go over there!
[Verse 1]
What's up? My name is Sean, nice to meet ya
So what brings you backstage in this theatre?
Oh you're in the crew that plays first
I shoulda noticed all four of y'all of wore the same shirts
I bet you got a demo of your work right
{That's what's up} Can you leave it with my merch guy?
Well word up, good luck tonight
And don't forget to drink water, and don't cup that mic, huh
Do me a favour and stay away from Ant's beer
No you can't bring your fans back here
Nah I'm straight, you can keep your drugs in fact
Keep em in the alley out back behind the club
And drop the attitude
Why you acting like that little sticky pass is some kinda right of passage dude
Keep rapping till you get discovered
But better believe it's last time we ever see each other
[Hook (Every second line spoken)]
Cause you played yourself
Uh yeah, of course I remember you man, uh, how you been man? How you doin man?
You played yourself
They told me that you tried to pick a fight with your own DJ
You played yourself
Nah I didn't see you're set man, I was, I was sleeping on the bus
You played yourself
Uh yeah, go talk to that guy, him, he'll give you some drink tickets, word
[Verse 2]
New York, at the Bowery getting down
With Grayskul, P. O.S. and Fillmore Brown
My first time touring with a live band
Trynna hide all the fear behind the mic stand
I just want to move around and keep it versatile
But tonight some kid took it personal
I stopped my set, yo what you yellin bout?
With your middle up calling me sell out
Then security rushed him like a gang fight
Wait, don't kick him out, man it ain't right
But they wasn't listening to Slug
I'm just an artist on the stage, they don't really give a fuck
So I finished up my set then
Ran out the front door to see if I could catch him
And there he was, mad and drunk
So I gave him his money and sent him off with a hug
[Hook (Every second line spoken)]
Man you played yourself
Man you can barely stand up, you trynna call me names, punk
You played yourself
I understand, I understand dude, I was just like you when I was 15 years old
You played yourself
Talking about, you ain't The Roots, you ain't The Roots, why you got a band man?
You played yourself
Do me a favour, throw away my CDs, I don't want you stupid fans
[Verse 3]
Girl please, don't treat me like you treat a toy
You wouldn't look twice if I was the pizza boy (nope)
You ain't got to flash me your ass and tits
I'd rather fantasise that you're a rap advocate
Look around, you see all these women?
They came for the music, you came for the scenesterism
The validating game is degrading
Got me cornered at the bar to boost your ratings
I'm getting too old for the trap
Go wiggle that cleavage at the opening act, huh
Plus you smell like a bucket of vodka
I would never put my meat sauce up in that pasta
The shows over, so why you waiting by the bus
Like I'm supposed to be impressed with the basics
You don't believe that I don't want to see you naked
But I'm not hanging out, take care and stay safe kid
[Hook (Every second line spoken)]
You played yourself
Yeah actually I have heard somebody say that to me before
You played yourself
You realise I can clearly see your clitoris through your jeans
You played yourself
Look you are closer to my son's age than, than you are to mine
You played yourself
Look, look, the li, the living legends are right there, right over there, go over there!
FAITH EVANS LYRICS - Keep The Faith
"Keep The Faith"
I've seen the lightning flashing
Heard the thunder roll
I feel the cold winds blowing
Trying to conquer my soul
[Chorus]
If I just hold my peace
Let the Lord fight my battles
If I can keep the faith through the night
I hear the voice of reason
Telling me to fight on
Cuz I come to know I've come too far to turn around
Weeping may endure for a night
But joy is gonna come tomorrow
Though I go through the fire
I shall come out as pure gold
When problems come just keep the faith
It won't be long until the day
Things will turn around if you just
If you just stand your ground
[Chorus]
When problems come just keep the faith
It won't be long until the day
Things will turn around if you just
If you just, just stand your ground
I only have to keep the faith
I only have to keep the faith
I don't have to fight no more no no no
I only have to keep the faith
I only have to keep the faith
[Chorus till fade...]
I've seen the lightning flashing
Heard the thunder roll
I feel the cold winds blowing
Trying to conquer my soul
[Chorus]
If I just hold my peace
Let the Lord fight my battles
If I can keep the faith through the night
I hear the voice of reason
Telling me to fight on
Cuz I come to know I've come too far to turn around
Weeping may endure for a night
But joy is gonna come tomorrow
Though I go through the fire
I shall come out as pure gold
When problems come just keep the faith
It won't be long until the day
Things will turn around if you just
If you just stand your ground
[Chorus]
When problems come just keep the faith
It won't be long until the day
Things will turn around if you just
If you just, just stand your ground
I only have to keep the faith
I only have to keep the faith
I don't have to fight no more no no no
I only have to keep the faith
I only have to keep the faith
[Chorus till fade...]
ADAM SANDLER LYRICS - The Goat
"The Goat"
[ADAM:] I am a simple goat.
I live on the back of a pick-up truck.
The Old Man tied me here with a 3 ft. rope.
Am I happy?
He don't give a fuck.
[OLD MAN:] Hey goat!
I'm gonna beat your head in with the hickory stick!
[ADAM:] Sometimes he uses his fists-a.
He's filled with anger and filled with rage,
and tells me I smell like piss-a.
His drink, Jimmy Beam.
His chaser, a beer.
After that, various alchohols.
That's when the beatings get so severe,
I sleep,
I pray he falls.
But don't feel sorry for me.
Things weren't always this bad.
Why when I was a young talking goat,
the Old Man was just like my dad.
I come from the hills of Europe.
That's where I met the Old Man.
He was lost in the woods,
I gave him directions,
He gave me a tuna can.
Then he stopped in his tracks and he said,
[OLD MAN:] Hey goat!
[ADAM:] Would you like to live with me?
I got a house with a pick-up truck
in a place across D. C.-a.
I said, "sure why not? I got no family. You seem like a nice guy."
So we went off to America,
the home of apple pie.
On the boat the Old Man told me,
I would be a present for his wife.
"A talking goat," he exclaimed,
"She's never seen this in her life!"
I felt so special.
Well, I just couldn't believe it,
after all these years,
I finally had a friend.
He trimmed my beard,
he scraped my hooves,
I prayed it would never end.
But when we got to his house,
there was no wife.
Only a short, short letter.
It said : I'm leaving you for your brother
because he fucks me better.
His eyes filled with tears of sadness.
His heart was filled with grief.
To suit himself he drank a pint of Old Grandad,
and beat me like a side of beef.
I screamed, "send me back to the hills of Europe!"
He just shook his head and said,
[OLD MAN:] Nope!
[ADAM:] No one will ever leave me again,
to make sure,
put on the 3 ft. fucking rope-a.
Present-day I've been on the truck for 51 years.
My only friend is the A. M. radio.
Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by,
but it's always rocks and beer bottles that they throw.
At first they're excited to see a talking goat,
they gather 'round to hear what I have to say.
But I guess sometimes my stories go on too long,
so they leave and giggle,
I need a bidet.
But you know there was a night
that I did get off the truck,
when the Old Man was passed out drunk.
Three neighborhood kids took me to a rock and roll concert.
The kind of music?
Old school funk.
It was the first time I'd been off the truck,
the music made me lose control.
The lead singer asked if we were having fun,
I said, "fucking crank that rock and roll-a!"
The women at the show were beautiful,
as they danced sexily on the soft grass.
One of them even petted my fur.
Fuck me in the goat ass!
Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns
and threw me in the mosh pit-a.
They passed me around and treated me nice
til I nervously sprayed them with shit-a.
Then the music stopped.
And everything was quiet.
And all the rock and rollers started a
fucking goat riot.
[ROCK AND ROLLERS:] Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
[ADAM:] They chased me under the bleachers.
They chased me onto the street-a.
They chased me into an alley and said I was dead fucking goat meat-a.
But then I saw a sight,
that I'd never thought I'd see.
The Old Man swinging his hickory stick,
but he wasn't swinging at me.
[OLD MAN:] Fuck you pot smoking turkeys!
Don't you press your luck!
[ADAM:] The long-hairs ran away screaming
as I scrambled onto the truck-a.
When we got home the Old Man said, "goat you broke the sacred law."
[ADAM:] No!
Please!
Sorry!
Shit!
"I'll let it go this time,
but if you leave again,
I'll break your fucking jaw."
Super!
Great!
Okay!
Thank you Old Man for saving my life.
Thank you again and again.
You could have let them barbeque me,
but you acted like a friend.
"I'm not your friend.
I don't even like you.
I'm just not drunk," he said.
To prove his point,
he drank a bottle of grain alchohol,
and beat the fucking shit out of my head.
Ow! Ow! Ow! You're hurting me Old Man.
That night I suffered a concussion,
Deep inside my goat brain.
I still cannot feel my tailbone.
And I'll probably will never walk straight again.
I guess you'd call me,
escape goat.
A punching bag for the Old Man to mock.
Just because his wife left him,
for his brother's abnormaly large cock.
He could've been my buddy.
But instead he's a crazy old fuck.
And once again I go to sleep,
in my eternal home.......
the back of the pick-up truck.
Good night Old Man!
[OLD MAN:] Yeah, good night goat!
[ADAM:] I am a simple goat.
I live on the back of a pick-up truck.
The Old Man tied me here with a 3 ft. rope.
Am I happy?
He don't give a fuck.
[OLD MAN:] Hey goat!
I'm gonna beat your head in with the hickory stick!
[ADAM:] Sometimes he uses his fists-a.
He's filled with anger and filled with rage,
and tells me I smell like piss-a.
His drink, Jimmy Beam.
His chaser, a beer.
After that, various alchohols.
That's when the beatings get so severe,
I sleep,
I pray he falls.
But don't feel sorry for me.
Things weren't always this bad.
Why when I was a young talking goat,
the Old Man was just like my dad.
I come from the hills of Europe.
That's where I met the Old Man.
He was lost in the woods,
I gave him directions,
He gave me a tuna can.
Then he stopped in his tracks and he said,
[OLD MAN:] Hey goat!
[ADAM:] Would you like to live with me?
I got a house with a pick-up truck
in a place across D. C.-a.
I said, "sure why not? I got no family. You seem like a nice guy."
So we went off to America,
the home of apple pie.
On the boat the Old Man told me,
I would be a present for his wife.
"A talking goat," he exclaimed,
"She's never seen this in her life!"
I felt so special.
Well, I just couldn't believe it,
after all these years,
I finally had a friend.
He trimmed my beard,
he scraped my hooves,
I prayed it would never end.
But when we got to his house,
there was no wife.
Only a short, short letter.
It said : I'm leaving you for your brother
because he fucks me better.
His eyes filled with tears of sadness.
His heart was filled with grief.
To suit himself he drank a pint of Old Grandad,
and beat me like a side of beef.
I screamed, "send me back to the hills of Europe!"
He just shook his head and said,
[OLD MAN:] Nope!
[ADAM:] No one will ever leave me again,
to make sure,
put on the 3 ft. fucking rope-a.
Present-day I've been on the truck for 51 years.
My only friend is the A. M. radio.
Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by,
but it's always rocks and beer bottles that they throw.
At first they're excited to see a talking goat,
they gather 'round to hear what I have to say.
But I guess sometimes my stories go on too long,
so they leave and giggle,
I need a bidet.
But you know there was a night
that I did get off the truck,
when the Old Man was passed out drunk.
Three neighborhood kids took me to a rock and roll concert.
The kind of music?
Old school funk.
It was the first time I'd been off the truck,
the music made me lose control.
The lead singer asked if we were having fun,
I said, "fucking crank that rock and roll-a!"
The women at the show were beautiful,
as they danced sexily on the soft grass.
One of them even petted my fur.
Fuck me in the goat ass!
Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns
and threw me in the mosh pit-a.
They passed me around and treated me nice
til I nervously sprayed them with shit-a.
Then the music stopped.
And everything was quiet.
And all the rock and rollers started a
fucking goat riot.
[ROCK AND ROLLERS:] Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
[ADAM:] They chased me under the bleachers.
They chased me onto the street-a.
They chased me into an alley and said I was dead fucking goat meat-a.
But then I saw a sight,
that I'd never thought I'd see.
The Old Man swinging his hickory stick,
but he wasn't swinging at me.
[OLD MAN:] Fuck you pot smoking turkeys!
Don't you press your luck!
[ADAM:] The long-hairs ran away screaming
as I scrambled onto the truck-a.
When we got home the Old Man said, "goat you broke the sacred law."
[ADAM:] No!
Please!
Sorry!
Shit!
"I'll let it go this time,
but if you leave again,
I'll break your fucking jaw."
Super!
Great!
Okay!
Thank you Old Man for saving my life.
Thank you again and again.
You could have let them barbeque me,
but you acted like a friend.
"I'm not your friend.
I don't even like you.
I'm just not drunk," he said.
To prove his point,
he drank a bottle of grain alchohol,
and beat the fucking shit out of my head.
Ow! Ow! Ow! You're hurting me Old Man.
That night I suffered a concussion,
Deep inside my goat brain.
I still cannot feel my tailbone.
And I'll probably will never walk straight again.
I guess you'd call me,
escape goat.
A punching bag for the Old Man to mock.
Just because his wife left him,
for his brother's abnormaly large cock.
He could've been my buddy.
But instead he's a crazy old fuck.
And once again I go to sleep,
in my eternal home.......
the back of the pick-up truck.
Good night Old Man!
[OLD MAN:] Yeah, good night goat!
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