ADAM SANDLER LYRICS - Cool Guy 5

"Cool Guy 5"



[Sean pulling up in his car to a hooker]



[GIRL #5:] Hey, honey.

[SEAN:] S'up baby? Looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit. You cold, baby? You want to use me as a blanket?



[GIRL #5:] I'm just doing my thing.



[SEAN:] Well, does doing your thing mean your tricky? 'Cause I'd like to invest some of my hard earned money towards loving you, if you know what I getting at.



[GIRL #5:] Well, how much you got, big man?



[SEAN:] Well, I'm willing to drop 50 dollars on your ass, but there's a condition going on.



[GIRL #5:] What's that?



[SEAN:] You're going to have to put those lucious lips of yours on... my... slub-a-dub.



[GIRL #5:] Ooh, I can do that.



[SEAN:] You can?



[GIRL #5:] Mm-hmm.



[SEAN:] You mean, you ain't going make fun of the fact that I called my gizza-gazza a "slub-a-dub"?



[GIRL #5:] Honey you can call your thing what ever you want to as long as you got 50 bucks.



[SEAN:] Oh sna... well, alright then here's the 50 dollars, [unzips pants] and here's my flip stick, now start wetting that thing up.



[GIRL #5:] [Opens his door] Sir, you are under arrest.



[police car pulls up]



[SEAN:] You got to be fucking with mind here.



[GIRL #5:] No, I'm not.



[COP:] Good job, Denise. We'll take him from here.



[Cop hand cuffs Sean]



[SEAN:] WHAT?!?! You going to arrest my ass for trying to get a ride on my slip 'n' slide? Fuck that shit.



[GIRL #5:] Hey honey, when you get to jail, you're going to be on the other end of a slip 'n' slide, and I hope you enjoy yourself.



[SEAN:] WWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT?!?!?!



[cop throws Sean in back of police car]



[COP:] Just get in the back, asshole.



[GIRL #5:] [from outside] You sick fuck.



[SEAN:] Damn!! [crying] This is a bunch of bullshit!!!



[PEEPER:] Piss on me. [also in the back of the police car]



[SEAN:] WHAT?!



[PEEPER:] Please, piss me.



[SEAN:] NO!!!



[PEEPER:] Just a tinkle.



[SEAN:] Fuck that, keep him away from me.



[PEEPER:] Urine.



[SEAN:] Keep this man away from me.